HtmlToText
senaste inläggen sex kommentera av sara modigh - 1 december 2013 15:23 i chose to write a post that is mighty hard for me to write, because i know there are many who will recognize themselves and who probably feel very alone. it did anyway. when i started to self harm, i had never heard of the phenomenon of cutting yourself. i had never seen or heard about someone who hurt themselves on purpose. i thought i was really weird, and when it was no longer adequate to hurt me by beating and cutting myself so i started to self harm me by letting be me sexually exploited. it probably sounds really weird. how could it be so? i do not know. i was young, shy and unsure of myself. i hated myself and my body, and when i was in high school, i felt the worst i started to "lend out" my body. i did not want it so the guys who wanted it could have it. it was purely disgusting and dirty torture for my soul. it was the humiliation that i felt that i deserved, and sex was the only thing i was good enough at. at school i was invisible, incompetent and maladjusted. but in my sex-self-harming, i had an identity. where i was and where i was seen. it became a destructive spiral where i hated myself felt worthless and disgusting, i'm sexself injured to seek some form of anxiety relief by punishing myself because i'm so nauseous and unwanted while so i imagined myself that i was coveted and that i mattered when these men wanted me, afterwards, i often felt even dirtier, more disgusting and stupid and so began all over again. i never understood why i did what i did. even today i am ashamed of what i did to myself. maybe because i put all the blame on myself because i did not understand my behavior and even today find it difficult to understand how it could be like it was. i have so many mental scars from everything i subjected myself to. i'm still feel terribly bad about everything that happened. allmänt dela · kommentera annons life is terribly unfair. kommentera av sara modigh - 24 augusti 2013 16:45 the day before yesterday my doctor called to tell me that the test results from my mri investigation had come. he wanted me to get there the next day so we could talk face to face. even then i realized that that not all was well. no overworked doctor book an appointment for a visit to tell good news. the level of anxiety after i was told that the doctor wanted to talk to us as soon as possible was extreme. my thoughts flew like a chaos through my head, is it a tumor? it ms? is it an inflammation? it is tbe? will i die? how long have i to live? yesterday, we met with the doctor and all the hope that he might not find anything and just called me up to discuss how we would proceed disappeared immediately when i saw his sad face. there was something in his eyes that told me what he would say now it was not good. we got to sit, and he asked quite cheerfully how we felt. then, for a second i thought "phu there is nothing wrong anyway." but that was not the case. he said that the investigations conducted have shown that i have brain changes. he could not say anything more without further investigation. so i still have no answers. what is a change? what does that mean? how will it affect me? i've got an appointment for a lumbar puncture to allow them to investigate my spinal fluid. i would get a call to it within a month he thought. so now you just have to take it one day at a time and hope for the best. i try to be strong, but it's hard when it feels like life turns against me. is it not one thing it's another. yesterday it was one year ago since mother's funeral. a year! now i'm dealing with a possible brain disease. i've really struggled all my life to mental illness, and now this? right now i think life is terribly unfair. but like i said, i will try to think of anything else, hope for the best and take one day at a time. there's a possibility that this is not something dangerous. i will probably need help to keep the thoughts away, do you have any tips on how i can do to think other things and take one day at a time until i get my judgment allmänt dela · kommentera annons if i die of an undiagnosed illness, it is the health center's fault! kommentera av sara modigh - 27 juni 2013 04:04 if i die of an undiagnosed illness, it is the health center's fault! have for a week now got worse and worse sensory disturbances in both legs and also pins and needles in my hands. it started when i had a weird feeling in my foot and ankle. it felt like there was something warm right next to my leg. this feeling has since spread up my legs all the way up to my lower back. the feeling has been replaced with a stinging, burning sensation in the skin. feels like when you come inside after being out in freezing temperatures and played in the snow and are cold and wet. the other day i started to get pins and needles in my hands. my legs are very weak and wobbly. my knees give way from time to time and i collide with the door frames and can not keep balance when i close my eyes. it has gone so far that i can hardly walk. i'm exhausted and feel sick after going a short distance. it feels like my legs are made of spaghetti. my partner phoned in to the health center on monday and explained the symptoms. there, they wanted me to come by once. they said "it sounds serious, we want you to come as soon as possible." but i can not walk myself and jacob worked on both monday and tuesday, so we had to wait until wednesday. so today we were there. the doctor checked my reflexes and if i had pulse and feeling in my feet. it was basically all she wanted to do. for as soon as i mentioned the word the word mental illness were my problems psychological problems. while she also claimed that the problems probably are not due to folate deficiency i have, so when i was there last time (for not too long ago) for a similar problem with my legs and was told it was due to folic acid deficiency, it was probably not true . the doctor explained to me like i was an idiot "you see, anxiety can manifest itself in this way. i saw in your journal that you have sobril medicine prescription. take them" i have had my anxiety problems since the age of six. i know how my anxiety manifests itself! i know what anxiety is and i know what anxiety feels like. i know i never had tingling from anxiety and i know i never had physical problems that gets progressively worse over time of my anxiety. when i told her that i know how my anxiety feels like and how it works, she became very angry and cross. there was an icy chill in her eyes and you just felt her contempt for me was dripping from every word she uttered. "then we'll have to get some samples then, or so we send you for admission to a hospital so they can take samples there., we can at least not do anything more for you" so i had to take the same tests as the last time i was there and it was found that my folate value was "4". so now i wonder, how many people have anxiety that feels like that? i think it's so awful that they do not even want to consider that there might be something physically just because i have mental illness. that one has to feel like a burden and an idiot who just take their time with their mental illness instead of going into psychiatry. that they almost refuse to take a blood test to at least try to see if there is a physical cause for my symptoms. how to get help with somatic diseases if the health center refuse to look, just because you have a journal from the psychiatry. three years ago, the health center missed, b-12 deficiency and folate deficiency. i finally became so ill that i had to be admitted to the hospital and get an iv and a blood transfusion. in three days i got to be in the hospital because i was so anemic. my hemoglobin was low, an adult women should have 120 to 155 grams per liter. i had 75! i do not want to get sick and need to be hospitalized again, because the health center do not want to examine me. just because i have psychological problems. i hate
Informations Whois
Whois est un protocole qui permet d'accéder aux informations d'enregistrement.Vous pouvez atteindre quand le site Web a été enregistré, quand il va expirer, quelles sont les coordonnées du site avec les informations suivantes. En un mot, il comprend ces informations;
# Copyright (c) 1997- IIS (The Internet Foundation In Sweden).
# All rights reserved.
# The information obtained through searches, or otherwise, is protected
# by the Swedish Copyright Act (1960:729) and international conventions.
# It is also subject to database protection according to the Swedish
# Copyright Act.
# Any use of this material to target advertising or
# similar activities is forbidden and will be prosecuted.
# If any of the information below is transferred to a third
# party, it must be done in its entirety. This server must
# not be used as a backend for a search engine.
# Result of search for registered domain names under
# the .se top level domain.
# This whois printout is printed with UTF-8 encoding.
#
state: active
domain: bloggplatsen.se
holder: theswe1203-00001
admin-c: -
tech-c: -
billing-c: -
created: 2007-09-09
modified: 2012-09-05
expires: 2022-09-09
transferred: 2009-03-09
nserver: ns1.internet24.se
nserver: ns2.internet24.se
nserver: ns3.internet24.se
dnssec: unsigned delegation
status: ok
registrar: SE Direkt
REFERRER http://www.nic-se.se
REGISTRAR NIC-SE
SERVERS
SERVER se.whois-servers.net
ARGS bloggplatsen.se
PORT 43
TYPE domain
RegrInfo
DISCLAIMER
Copyright (c) 1997- IIS (The Internet Foundation In Sweden).
All rights reserved.
The information obtained through searches, or otherwise, is protected
by the Swedish Copyright Act (1960:729) and international conventions.
It is also subject to database protection according to the Swedish
Copyright Act.
Any use of this material to target advertising or
similar activities is forbidden and will be prosecuted.
If any of the information below is transferred to a third
party, it must be done in its entirety. This server must
not be used as a backend for a search engine.
Result of search for registered domain names under
the .se top level domain.
This whois printout is printed with UTF-8 encoding.
DOMAIN
STATUS
active
ok
NAME bloggplatsen.se
CREATED 2007-09-09
EXPIRES 2022-09-09
NSERVER
NS1.INTERNET24.SE 5.178.78.201
NS2.INTERNET24.SE 5.178.78.204
NS3.INTERNET24.SE 79.138.8.178
OWNER
HANDLE theswe1203-00001
REGISTERED yes
Go to top
disturbed-angel.bloggplatsen.se rapport :
Visitez le site
